This morning Ashley and I were making some lighthearted chit chat about sex. Nothing major… just the usual talk of things like role playing, male enhancement pills, and eating in bed. I’m sure by now that we’ve all gone down the whipped cream and/or chocolate sauce roads (unless of course you’re lactose intolerant or allergic to cacao), but few people have ventured beyond the “sweet condiments” category.
I began to wonder, are people humping with hamburgers? Coming with corn? Noshing on chicken nuggets and nipples? Thrusting to Thanksgiving leftovers? Blowing a load to birthday cake (if so, I recommend keeping the hit song “Birthday Sex” on the ipod)? Eating a taco (that one works both ways)?
Obviously I googled the search term “sex with food” and came up with some wild sites that indicate pleasure by being a “carrot fucker” or a lesbian with a cream licking fetish. I quickly decided that I fit in neither category, and simply wanted to hear about this type of sex the way I had originally imagined it: Mario Batali thrusting a small Italian woman while licking a bowl of penne pesto clean. Or, in a sexier fashion, perhaps the wilder fantasy of Anthony Bourdain pleasuring himself on an airplane to Thailand while drinking a smoothie made of beetles and mangosteen.
So, I ask the people of the world, have you ever eaten anything other than genitals in bed? Please leave comments below.
Oh. My. God
I heard there’s a restaurant in Hollywood that serves sushi on semi-naked models.
I eat all sorts of things in bed! But nothing in the meat family…and def not toes.
I nursed my daughter in bed…. so I guess she ate in bed.
But alas, no real food.
And since she still sleeps in the bed with us…well, nothing but actual sleep in the bed either.
Wasnt there a Seinfeld about this? When George mixes sex with food, and gets aroused by pastrami?
DAMMIT STEVE, that was my comment. George was eating all types of shit in bed, but his sexing partner wasn’t amused when she eventually caught on.
And no, I have never noshed on nuggets and nipple. Sorry Bryce.
Steph, a reliable source says that you’ve been known to eat chickenless nuggets with pussy in your bed.
ZOMFG
I eat toes.
“Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?”–Deep Throat
Seeing as how this is Manhattan Island and I pay out of my ass to rent an apt that’s 7ft x 2ft wide, don’t really have a dining room or eat in kitchen. I’d say I mangiare the majority of my meals in bed, and my bank account gets more action.