How to Throw a Really Bad Theme Wedding

bad theme weddings
Written by Gary

Directions on how to throw a really bad theme wedding.

bad theme weddings

Step 1. Choose a reference that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Everybody loves a good theme wedding, right? Just kidding, actually, NOBODY loves a good theme wedding. The phrase ‘good theme wedding’ is actually an oxymoron, and when used sarcastically, refers to the tackiest, most white trash type of wedding you can possibly throw.

I’m from North Florida, so obviously I am no stranger to theme weddings. Since I was born with tacky blood, I am uniquely qualified to give directions on how to throw a horribly theme wedding.

READ MORE: Why You Shouldn’t Buy Bridesmaid Dresses Online

My only request is that you use these tips ironically. There is nothing worse than a person that takes a theme wedding seriously, in any way, shape, or form.

bad theme weddings

Step 2. Force your friends to participate. It’s your wedding, after all.

bad theme weddings

Step 3. Consider wearing a mask, so nobody can ever prove it is you.

bad theme weddings

Step 4. Make sure everyone in the wedding party is as tacky as you are, even if your theme doesn’t make much sense.

bad theme weddings

Step 6- If all else fails, just use body paint and get married in Jersey.

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About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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