Bristol Palin, of the overactive vagina Palins, has decided that, lamestream media be damned, she’s going to follow in her mother’s footsteps.
No, she’s not going to vie for the sought-after title of Miss Alaska, and she’s not going to whitewash her folksy accent to become a half-rate sportscaster. She’s not going to fly from Texas to Alaska after her water breaks, and she’s not going to attend five colleges in six years. She’s not going to become a reality TV star on Season 3 of Teen Mom (unfortunately).
Bristol would like to follow in the footsteps left behind by Momma’s collection of designer footwear purchased during her 150K RNC-funded spending-spree. Bitch has her sights set on politickin’.
Well, sorta-like. She’s young still! She’ll “probably” run for office one day, “but that would be further down the road.” Oh, right! I’m all about probably’s. Like just the other day, my friend asked me if I’d be interested in working for NASA someday, and I was like “Yeah, probably! I mean I have zero qualifications and the only role model I have is that crazy astronaut bitch who drove cross-country with a diaper on, but probably, yes. I mean, somewhere down the line, of course.”
“If I saw something that needed to be changed, then I would step up to the plate and do something about it,” Bristol told E! News, which is where all great politicians got their start. That’s really noble of you, Bristol. I think it’s awesome that you’re jumping on the change bandwagon. Three years late, but welcome! I remember how brave you were when you told your space cadet mom and her Kool-Aid drinking sheep that abstinence-only is an ineffective way to teach Sex Ed. You sure showed them!
Oh wait… you still think abstinence-only education is the way to go? You were supposed to give an abstinence speech at Washington University that got canceled because people with educations realized that listening to the 20-year-old girl with the baby about how to have a responsible sex life by ignoring sex was bullshit and a waste of their tuition? Huh. How’s that hopey-changey thing workin’ for ya?
Freaking hilarious and so true!