“You can do anything you put your mind to, and you can do it in stilettos.” -Kimora Lee Simmons*
1. What Exactly Counts As Cheating? Last week was an interesting one in the lives of some of my friends and associates. A girlfriend of mine found out her boyfriend of about a year had been cheating on her for a couple months with a series of non-serious barsluts (yeah, that’s a new word… combined). My friend’s boyfriend had sex with multiple girls over an eight week period or so. I can’t tell which is worse- a man that cheats without feelings or a woman that cheats with serious lust? Is there even a difference, or is the disrespect and disappointment all the same? My friend has no intention of making it work with her cheating boyfriend, but I wonder if there are varying degrees of cheating and had he been caught with only one girl or only making out while drunk at a bar if the outcome would’ve been any different. I don’t, in fact, condone any cheating at all. I think if it happens in the dating phase of a relationship it basically means you should cut your losses and move on immediately… I mean, what’s the point? If you’re not attracted to your lover enough to stay faithful in what should be the “honeymoon phase” I’m pretty sure it’s not going to head in a healthy direction, ever. But considering that only about 50% of marriages stay together in this country, I can’t help but wonder what portion of that 50% experiences some degree of known infidelity and then chooses to stick it out anyway?
2. I Have No Idea. I have no idea what I’d do if I caught someone cheating on me… I’d like to think that I’d look them in the eye and say “f*ck you… to the left, to the left” a la Beyonce Knowles, but when kids, real estate, money, and lives are caught up in the mix I assume there’s got to be too much crap in the middle to make it so cut and dry. It hasn’t happened yet, and I’ve got my fingers crossed that my growing lingerie and heels collections help stave off even the remotest possibility.
3. I’m A Genius. I really am. This morning I found myself face down in bed with crust in the corners of my eyes and the distinct cry of, “MOMMY!!!! MOMMY”” in my ears from a somewhat whiny two year old in the bedroom next door. I knew Daylight Savings had royally screwed me this time, because not only had I lost an hour of my life, but my kid seemed totally unaware that this was the official sleep-late-or-Mommy-won’t-cook-French-toast morning. Go ahead, ask me how I handled it. I went to the crib, looked him in the eyes, and said, “Ben, did you know that being extra quiet makes you like a real ninja?” BAM! 20 extra minutes of sleep.
4. Why, Oh Why?! Gary, my gayest friend, informed me today that Ricky Martin is a dad. Obviously I’m happy for him because everyone knows that parenting is one big fat living la vida loca, but I’m sort of annoyed that he chose to adopt. Normally I encourage adoption, but when you have loins like Ricky’s it seems ridiculous not to offer more of yourself to the world. Ricky, if you need a sperm house, I’ll ask Ashley to carry your baby.
*it should be noted that I typically don’t agree with anything that Kimora Lee Simmons has to say, but I happen to like this quote.
cheating image via Examiner
