Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (glitter clips edition)

Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things he’s got it all. -James Brown

1. Filming Things! I’ve been filming like a beast for the past few weeks. Almost every single day I’ve been on a set, in the street, or on location filming all sorts of things. I’m obviously working on a new TV show (shh… can’t say what till we’re done filming), and I’ve been working on some beauty/lifestyle tutorial videos for the web. The past week or so has left me so made-up for camera that I’ve looked like a tranny hooker just about every day. Seriously, last night I was out at a launch party with an entire head of crimped hair. It’s all been very exciting, exhausting, and somewhat trashy. Like.

2. Homos Marrying Homos. As everyone on the planet already knows, gay marriage recently became legal in New York. That’s pretty awesome news and a big step forward when it comes to social progress, but it’s with some level of sadness that I have to report my own personal disappointment in this legislative victory. You see, now that homos can marry other homos, that totally limits my pool of potential husbands. There are so few men out there that I can stand for more than 1 or 2 dates, and so few that I’d ever consider having a real hand in raising my son. The only one I’ve been pretty serious about so far is my good friend “Dave.” Dave is a power-lawyer at a top firm in NYC, and a somewhat closeted homo. We like to eat the same things, go the same places, can talk for hours, and I find it insanely sexy that he’s killing billion dollar deals left and right. He’s the Gordon Gekko of gay. And he loves my son. And I love him. And I always figured that one day when he has to lie to his parents about his sexuality he’d marry me and we’d have a perfect, sexless marriage. Now that he can marry another dude he may actually grow the balls to write a postcard to his parents in the midwest with a little “BTW, I’m gay!” note and run off into the sunset with a Billie, Jonathan, Henri, or Stephen (pronounced “Steff-ahn”). Then what?

3. Boyfriend. A little while back I had an iced tea with a friend that said “Bryce, not to be too personal or whatever, but why aren’t you and your boyfriend in a facebook relationship? Hasn’t it been, like, a long time?” Yeah, it’s been a fair amount of time. 8 months. And I guess I didn’t think we should do that because I live a fairly public life and I think boyfriend wants to remain relatively private. The next night I brought it up with Boyfriend in bed after a long day.

“Hey, how come you haven’t sent me a relationship request on facebook?”

“Bryce, 41 year olds don’t do facebook relationships. That’s silly.”

“Um, not if those 41 year olds are trying to seriously date 20-somethings.”

We are still not in a facebook relationship. I’m considering entering one with a considerably younger man to drive the point home.

4. Crocs. I think I swore I’d never, ever buy them. I’m not sure. But I found myself in the official Crocs store in SoHo a couple days ago buying a pair for Benny. I’m that mom now. I’m a suburban mom, casually and curiously placed in an unusual downtown NYC setting. Next thing you know I’ll be buying a minivan and talking about the newest line of khaki cargo pants to hit the market. In good news, they’re really awesome for kids to wear in the water.