Dealios, Can You Feel Me Yo?

There are probably more “I need someone to bathe in noodles and sauce for me” posts than reasonable job postings on Craig’s List these days, but who needs a job when you’ve got deals up the whazoo? This economy is not so bad…when you think about it. There are plenty of good places to drop your cash, drop, drop, drop it like the Dow! Sample sale sites are blowing up like whoa…remember when Gilt Group was the only one? Well ladies (and some men), now you can waste your time browsing through Haute Look, Editor’s Closet, Rue La La, The Outnet and the list goes on. I’m addicted to that shizz like a Lohan to a Ronson. Wanna travel to Europe or The Galapagos on your unemployment check? Sure, why not subscribe to Travel Zoo’s Top 20 weekly deals email? Just a sampling from last week’s Travelzoo.com deals email: $204 & up — Germany from Across the U.S., incl. $150 Credit. Hey Bruno, I’m coming to visit your ass! And you better have a Velcro suit waiting for me.

How about eating out? I have never seen so many 2-for-1 coupons for restaurants and ‘recession specials’! So, eat out you broke-ass recessionista, you definitely can afford it. Have you been doing your nails at home to save money? Oh come on gurrrrrl…the mani/pedi joints have felt your absence and many have dropped their prices for certain days of the week. There are two salons in my hood that are practically right next to each other and after one salon advertised a $35 mani/pedi deal for Monday through Wednesday, it didn’t take long for the other to follow suit. The big poppa of coupons is coming to a city near you if you don’t know, now you know sista. Groupon.com sends out great deals for your city every-fricken-day…so you can spend the money you don’t have on more great deals. The other day I almost spit out my soy latte on my computer when I read: “$50 for $125 at the Denim Lounge.” Hello people, that’s $50 for a pretty damn good pair of jeans…why go to Nordstrom Rack for last year’s styles when you’ve got this groupon?

And the best thing about the economy right now is not that you don’t have a job or that you’re bringing lunch everyday or that you stopped going to Starbucks and make your own crappy coffee, but it’s that there are more freebies than a rat-tail at a croc mall kiosk. I was on my way to get some coffee at the non-Starbucks and what did I see? Oh shizzle, free Starbs! That’s quite rare for the-coffee-that-tastes-like-burnt-dirt, but Dunkin’ is constantly giving away free iced coffees and McD’s is always giving away that free fried shizz like it ain’t nobody’s bizz. So when you’re starting to get all down in the dumps about this trash bag of an economy, think of all the deals, coupons, sales and freebies that exist right now…because one day in 2025 when the economy perks up, you’ll reminisce about the time when you could snag things on the cheap.