F*** My Life

With a plethora of celebrities within the last couple weeks totally effing up, I thought it would be a great time to add this. Life can suck sometimes.  Without wallowing in your own self pity, lets review some more public F*** My Life moments.

Michael Phelps: I smoked out of a huge bong at a party with tons of cameras and cell phones and lost millions in contracts and set my sport back another 10 years. My girlfriend is also a Vegas slut. FML

Chris Brown: I ruined my very early career by beating up my girlfriend. In public. FML

Lindsay Lohan: I got an eating disorder, drug problem, went to rehab and became a “lesbian.”  It still didn’t help my career. FML

Wow!  That was fun!  Wish you could read more about people that are having horrible days?! Well there is! While trying to find my own silver lining in life, Bryce sent me this site called fmylife.com. What are some things I learned from this?  Life could always be worse.  Everyone has had had a FML moment, some more than others.  With my first single V-Day around the corner, I think I’m just gonna sit back with some chocolate and read about people that are def worse off than me.

Here are a list of some of my favorites. Enjoy enjoy and I freaking hope none of these are you!!!

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, “I got your best friend pregnant.” FML

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, “Mommy, I hate people.” FML

Today, I took my friend to buy a pregancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny…it turned to positive. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him having sex with another guy. We’ve been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

And if you are reallly depressed, watch this poor bastard knock the bride into water.  Laugh out loud.

About the author


a native New Yorker with an enormous brain that's on a never-ending quest for high style, men with accents, and any place with a disco ball. Fastest way to her heart is a guy that loves sushi and knows the difference between "there," "their," and "they're."

1 Comment

  • I def. enjoy going to FML on a fairly regular basis. If you like FML and the Pillow Talk website I’d also recommend checking out http://www.sweetshouts.com . It’s a website like those sites, but the idea is to say something sweet about a person and to then post links on your various social networks. It’s a form of digital public flattery!

Leave a Comment