The last few months have sort of been a life crossroads for me. After a string of relationship angst that would have made Buffy proud, I came to the realization I really needed to take a manbattical – a dating timeout.
It’s not that I’m bitter, or “gave up” so much as I needed to give myself a time out and put things on hold for a while to concentrate on healing – and becoming, of sorts – me. When you have episode after episode of having your heart ripped out, you realize the common denominator is not the pathological narcissists you choose to let into your life, but yourself.
Image via The Guardian
I’m sorry, but I’ve realized drama and complications and the inevitable end were not worth the relationships that were often ripe with stress themselves. Ultimately, I just want to be left alone.
Do not all of us go through that point in our reality where we’ve been so incredibly hurt by the people we let into our lives that we decide to simply not give anyone else the chance? I’m so there, and I know a lot of other people who are there as well. And I keep on telling all my friends that I’m on a man-bbatical until further notice. None of them particularly agree with this decision, but it’s the only reality I can even fathom right now.
But then I’m reminded of this Bob Marley quote:
“If my life is just for me, my own security then me don’t want it, my life is for people, that is the way me is.”
…and I wonder if my new life plan is not “the way” after all.
We’re all talking about this insanely interesting Guardian feature that asks just this question, revealing that many young Japanese people have unilaterally elected to give up on sex and dating. In fact, the article says, many Japanese adults have not dated at all as they hit their thirties and “nearly half of women between 16 and 24 “were not interested in or despised sexual contact” and more than a quarter of men felt similarly.”
The article claims that aversion to intimacy is not just a Japanese thing — it’s being seen everywhere, as young people are increasingly attracted to independence (and perhaps digital loves here and there?). It’s an analytical and practical way of deciding to do away of something that is often — for many of us — incredibly messy and stressful and driven by emotions and hormones. But can we really decide to turn issues like love and attraction into commodities we can adhere to or deny?
But what happens when people stop having sex? Lower global population and all that jazz — but maybe a whole lot less stress and distraction as well!
