**NOTE: This was done with my friend Brooke. We get a little crazy sometimes.**
Via Craigslist’s epic “Missed Connections.” My primary source of entertainment.
Title: I want to f**k my landlord in the worst way!!!!! – m4w (Nassau by the mall)
“I wish she would come down, check the fuse box, or whatever… I want so bad to throw you down on the bed pull your clothes off, kiss and lick you all over, eat you out forever til you squirt all over me with your love juices ….feel your sweet spanish mouth deep around me, making love until you have to leave……you have an amazing body and sweet perosnality, hot ass, pretty face…the whole package…I could fall for you…”
This guy really knows whats up in the world of spanish women. He is romantic, descriptive, and you can tell he really knows how to treat a lady. I can see it now, this guy probably just went out and bought every surge protector at Home Depot- and as I type this he plugs in every appliance known to man, in order to blow some fuses. If it was winter, he would probably decorate his apartment like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation.
I imagine him dropping off his rent check wearing the cologne by Usher (or the knock off one in Duane Reade) and singing Make Love in this Club as she calmly, and with confused eyes takes it. She will politely tell him again that he can merely slip the check under the door, but this guy has no boundaries. I have a feeling there is a reason the landlord doesn’t come down to that apartment. I picture a dark den. Cold and musty. She begins to think that the $650 a month rent isn’t worth the advances and possible Roofie Coladas he’s been trying to send. Sure, the check may not always go through, but he’s always on time.
Could you imagine being the landlord and stumbling upon this? I would probably invest in a case of pepper spray and some Tiger Schulmans martial arts classes (I hear he works wonders).
HAHHA