Jared Leto’s penis size is again causing an internet uproar.
If you are a gay man, a girl, or someone with a reliable internet connection, chances are you have seen photos of Jared Leto’s dick. While the photos always show him clothed and his dick looks more like a huge blue sparkly DILD than an actual human sex organ, we have to safely assume that his penis is indeed, that large, because anything else would be un-American.
His lawyers have recently started coming after The Internet however, stating that talking about the size of Jared Leto’s member is defamatory.
Specifically, the lawyers came after the website Lipstick Alley, after some of their commenters got a little overzealous. The exchange is here:
“Having reviewed the posts that you have identified, I conclude that you do not have any non-frivolous defamation against any of the posters.
Some of the posts of which you object do not appear to me to be defamatory. Two of the posts simply mention claims found elsewhere in the Internet that your client has a large penis. It is hard to see how those statements would hurt your client’s reputation, even if they are false. It is, as I understand it, the accusation of having asmall penis that is understood to be an insult.
Other posts about Leto’s allegedly rough and inconsiderate behavior during alleged sexual encounters with fans, and about the age of one of the fans, might well have been defamatory when originally posted, assuming that they are false. I recognize that your letter claims that the statements are false. I assume that you do not have personal knowledge about the size of Leto’s penis or about whether he is rough with sexual partners, and you do not cite any evidence supporting your claim of falsity.
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Moreover, none of the posters on Lipstick Alley claims to have personal knowledge about Leto’s conduct during sex with his fans (or about the size of his penis); some simply express their views about what they have read elsewhere, and some have reposted comments from other web sites that purport to reflect first-person descriptions of activities in which the original writers claim to have been involved.
Your demand letter mentions that at least one of the linked-to posts has been deleted from the original site, and you seem to suggest that the removal of various posts in response to demand letters from your client supports your assertion that the posts are false. But at most, it only shows that the individuals whom your client threatened decided that the issue was not worth litigating.
Lipstick Alley, however, stands up for the First Amendment right of its users to comment on celebrities, and to make those comments anonymously, unless their statements have been proved false and defamatory. It does not remove posts simply because a wealthy actor is able to hire a law firm to send threatening letters.”
I don’t know what country we are living in, but since when were we not allowed to talk about someone’s dick on The Internet? If we can’t do that, why does The Internet even exist? Also, since when did having a big dick become a bad thing?
It sure as shit isn’t going to hurt Leto’s new movie Suicide Squad to have The Internet talking about him. Do you see what I’m getting at here? My theory is that Jared Leto is using his big penis to drum up publicity for his new movie.
After all, that’s why God made penises, right?
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