Moschino Wants You to Buy this $895 Dry Cleaning Bag Dress

Written by Bryce

If you’re in the market for a dry cleaning bag dress, we’ve got good news.

We know what you’re thinking. But why? Well, it’s clear Moschino designed this dry cleaning bag dress for the clean-obsessed, the person who is constantly laundering her linens, never wears the same thing twice, and has never, ever been known to drape a pair of jeans over the chair in her room for re-wear the next day. Moschino also knows this level of fashion comes with a price designed to keep the plebs at bay, so their dry cleaning bag dress is priced at $895.

The most expensive dry cleaning dress of all time.

According to BrownsFashion, where this dress sells, it’s actually a “cape overlay dress.” But that’s not all, people.

This clear Moschino dry cleaning cape overlay dress is the only kind of laundry you’d be willing to do (for your trusty au pair takes care of that kind of stuff). This dress showcases the brand’s economical Fall/17 runway theme and features a slip-on sleeveless design made from a see-through polyester re-used ‘plastic bag’ that is printed with ‘Free pickup and delivery’ text in red and ‘We *heart* our customers’ across the top. 

Oh, okay. That clears it all up nicely.

Why does this exist?

If you’re wondering where you’d wear this thing, so are we, but we can only assume anywhere you’re desperately seeking attention, in the presence of “social media influencers” or a mother in law who already deeply disapproves of your every breath.

For the modest dressing set, good news, the hem lines seem appropriate for religious circles, and you’ll only need to add an inexpensive black shell. Bonus for spilled coffee not even being a thing, and it’ll layer well with this pink sleeping bag coat.

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About the author


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber

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