I thought I’d spend my Sunday evening relaxing with a cup of hot tea on the couch… it was perfect, until Lana sent me a disgusting craigslist posting.
The really disturbing part is that Lana seemed really into it, and the subject of her email read “my dream guy.”
Ugh, Lana. She writes posts about getting owned, creepy dildos, etc., and I just can’t handle it. I think most people know that I’m either kidding or just curious about the stuff I write, but Lana’s a sick skank.  She’s really into this guy, and even messaged him.
His post was nicely worded as, “Oh yes she does. She needs to be used for pleasure, oh so roughly. She needs her hands bound and her smart little mouth gagged. She needs to be forced to her knees. She needs her hard spanking, she needs to be choked, and she needs to be kissed hard while she gasps for breath.
Of course we play Scrabble and watch weird foreign films and talk about books and regret the sad states of affairs and make fun of all those around us and even hold hands. No one would ever think of us as submissive and dominant, but I’ll never forget how to treat you at the end of the evening when we’re all alone.”
He also included this lovely photo.
So, Lana, I hope you have a lovely time next Wednesday getting choked and playing scrabble. Last I heard, IQ drops when your brain is devoid of oxygen from being choked… so I wouldn’t bet on winning.
I’ve got a few IQ points to spare, anyway.
Can we say potential domestic abuse victim. This is the type of gal that gives all the other gals a bad name and stays with an abusive husband/bf after he beats the shit out of her several times. If you allow anyone to abuse you like this… No you do not have extra IQ points to spare, you are in desperate need of some.
I’m not sure how this can be misconstrued as allowing someone to actually abuse you in an unwelcome way, but BDSM is not an uncommon practice in loving, respectful relationships, and the use of a safe word generally allows for things to get rough without crossing any real boundaries. Granted, this is something that really should be done with someone you trust won’t actually “beat the shit out of you.”
To assume however, that any woman who engages in sadomasochism is doing so because she’s a vulnerable victim in a relationship is awfully ignorant and sort of vanilla of you. But if you’re ever interested in actually exploring your sexuality beyond the missionary position, drop me a line – men in a uniform really get me going. 😉
It’s funny how many girls like you I saw while stationed at Camp Lejeune get beat up by their worthless husbands and then try to use some lame, misguided, and at times fatal excuse to stay with that person. I am not trying to tell you what to do by any stretch of the imagination as this is still a free country but I think you know where this slipeery slope is headed.
Craigslist totally creeps me out. Nothing good can possibly come from it. I thought the job postings that say things like “Get paid to be tickled for hours on end” was bad enough, but this is some totally sick shit.
No shit. Didn’t that Med Student/serial killer dude use FB to lure in his victims. Lana, if you’re going to engage in those types of activities, I strongly advise you to do it with someone you truly trust. Don’t know you but it will be sad/strange to see you on the news for all the wroing reasons. Sorry, that’s the protective Marine in me.
Mr. Marine, it seems to me that you may be in need of some of my spare IQ points since you can’t seem to wrap your head around this: some people are just plain into unorthodox sexual behavior, and females are not always unintelligent, emotionally-guided victims who can’t differentiate between what is a healthy relationship versus what is not. Furthermore, asking to be roughed up a bit because it genuinely arouses you is not at all the same as succumbing to an unwelcome, physically abusive relationship. “Different strokes for different folks” is the name of my game and to make a generalization about women and sexual tastes – while using the phrase “girls like you” when in fact, you don’t know me the slightest bit – just solidifies my case against your ignorance.
Okay if you don’t subscribe to that kind of lifestyle, but not okay to pass judgement.
I appreciate the sentiment. I actually don’t hunt Craigslist for real hookups…this was sent to Bryce as a joke. I’m a huge proponent of ONLY engaging in stuff like this with someone you do trust. This much we can agree upon.
But the idea that no good relationships come from Craigslist is a lie – I met Bryce there. 🙂
We marines are quite stubborn and set in our ways so I guess that is where this is coming from. I have seen too many Marine Wives that have been beaten and still go back to their shit for brains husbands out of sheer hope that they could mend things and rehab the marine/husband. Had to intervene in one incident where the jackass beat his wife up so badly that she was in the hospital for nearly a month. Needless to say, I had him kicked out of the Corps. Like I said, this is a free country and you are more than welcome to engage in anything you wish as long as it doesn’t involve violating another’s civil rights or do involuntary harm upon another. And no, I’m not generalizing, some of the most squared away and toughest marines I have had the honor of serving with were Women marines. I am only citing what I have seen come out of violence in relationships and domestic abuse cases on base.
I like the rough stuff in bed with a girl I’m comfortable with, but this girl just sounds like a whore. Good luck with the aids!
You know Alex, I’m appalled that anyone in our readership would actually say something as indecent and Pharisaical as “good luck with the AIDS.” Forgive me if I’m wrong, but nearly two decades ago, the world learned that one doesn’t actually have to be a “whore” to contract AIDS, that it only takes one unprotected encounter with an infected lover, and that it isn’t at all prejudice against people like you who have lovers they are “comfortable” with. Anyone who sarcastically links the disease with a insult to someone they don’t know – or to anyone at all – is not someone I have any respect for. You should be embarrassed by your very public display of ignorance and for freely behaving like such a simpleton on a public website.
Ok, seriously, we all need to cool down. This is a free country and we are free to engage in the activities of our choosing. Friggin relax people. Jeez.
I will agree Lana that you don’t have to be a whore to get aids, but as we all know the more you do anything the greater the risk. Wrap it up is all I’m sayin girl, sounds like your going to need the protection
Okay… Alex, USMarine–go rent the movie “Secretary.” It will explain everything.
Thanks,Amber! I still don’t think these guys are getting the message, though. Not to belabor the point, but the part about actually finding violent love on CL was not serious. The BDSM appreciation is. I have no further comments, but I’m glad I gave some people somethin’ to talk about! 🙂