Divorce rates are sky-rocketing, little girls want to grow up to be the president (and I am not talking about the PTA) , and straight people are resorting to things like Craigslist.Org to find sex. I think it is safe to say that this is no longer the world of our fore-fathers. As things progress though, there is a movement to maintain relationship and marriage traditions that were set in stone long before any of us ever broke our first hymens. I think this is stupid. Therefore, I have put together this list of relationship traditions that I think are outdated and pointless:
Men shouldn’t cry: If you don’t think your man should cry, then stop being such a heinous bitch to him. Do you really think that bitching/whining/harping for 3 hours about how he was trying to rush you out the door to get to his corporate event because his job depends on it is going to make him jump for joy? It has been scientifically proven that women are not the weaker sex (Serena Williams proved this by bench-pressing Gary Busey in my mind) so men should be able to sob over a pint of Ben & Jerry’s while watching the last episode of Gilmore Girls, too.
Men should pay for everything: The quickest way to push your man into the arms of another woman is to stress him out about money. The quickest way to stress him out about money is to make him pay for everything. This builds an unhealthy relationship dynamic anyway, since women are completely capable of making their own money in this modern world. Women often wonder why their marriages fall apart, so I am here to drop a big steaming nugget of knowledge on you. If you don’t work and bring in any money you will feel worthless. You will take this feeling out on your husband and drive him away. I don’t care if raising your kids seems like a full time job to you; it isn’t. And if you are lucky enough to have a husband to share the burden then, for God’s sake, use him. A healthy relationship and family is built on balance, especially when money is on the scale.
Women should stay home and clean: There are way too many immigrant women out there willing to clean your house for basically pennies. Even though they aren’t making much, this is how they are providing for their families. So a woman going to work and paying someone else to clean her house not only builds a happy marriage for her, but a happy marriage for her maid, too. Stop sitting around painting your nails and make a difference for an illegal alien, today.
Men should always make the first move: I know several girls who won’t even approach a guy at a bar, let alone propose co-habitation or marriage. We live in a world where you can have anything you want if you are willing to have the balls to go for it. If you want a guy to like you, hit on him. If you love a guy, just tell him. If you want to masturbate in an elevator, just do it. The only person judging you is yourself and frankly, I doubt you are a very good judge of character if you think that a modern woman should be afraid to go after her wants and desires.
There are so many stupid games put in our heads by our parents and society that just aren’t even really relevant in this day and age. So I say this to women today: Man up, and ditch old relationship traditions. We are no longer living in a man’s world – we just need women everywhere to realize it.
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Baby, I must have been ahead of my time. I have been living this for at least 35 years. 🙂
ALthough I don’t understand HOW since I’m not that old. (GAHH ha ha) ok, but not dirt yet.
Ok, this is all mostly correct. BUT, here’s the thing raising kids is a full time JOB especially if you’re a stay at home mom, single parent, or allow your husband to not get involved. This is ALWAYS sad by people who either don’t have kids or can afford help. Oh, by the way pay the immigrants a decent wage, would you work for pennies? Why should they? The assumption that because they are immigrants we are allowed to pay them anything below mim wage is insulting, and racist. I also don’t know ANY who will do it. All of these tips are great, just use your head, Some men ARE NOT as evolved as we would like them to be, I’m just say’n. As, for myself, I just go with my gut, and make my decisions accordingly.