These slang terms for sexual intercourse from the past 600 years would not work in the modern world, as I have no idea what the fuck they mean.
In my own personal vocabulary, I have no less than 100 ways to refer to sex. Sometimes I call it ‘going downtown to poundtown’, and other times I just call it ‘Friday night’. Our society has never been more open about sexuality, to the point where even straight people are using iPhone apps to arrange one night stands that don’t involve names.
Obviously we are living in a glorious time of sexual independence, but it was not always so. In the past, people probably had to be a little more obscure when referring to ‘blasting thine ass’, so they didn’t have have to face exile, or have a big scarlet ‘A’ sewed onto their tits. I am really happy to live in a time period where I can have sex just by walking out my front door with no judgment, but it is still nice to look back on the past once in a while and feel sorry for everyone who died of silly STD’s like syphilis.
To celebrate that, here are 10 slang terms for sex that make no fucking sense in the world of today.
READ MORE: Facts About Masturbation That Everyone Should Know
Play nug-a-nug (1505)
Board a land carrack (1604)
Fadoodling (1611)
Put the devil into hell (1616)
Shot twixt wind and water (1665)
Join giblets (1680)
Play at rumpscuttle and clapperdepouch (1684)
Ride a dragon upon St. George (1698)
Dance the kipples (1796)
Get one’s ashes hauled (1910)
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