Sometimes in our relationships we have to deal with awkward situations. But how do you tell your man that his beard stubble burns your box?
When it comes to rug-burn, there are only two really horrible places to get it: your vagina, and your forehead. On your vagina, you can easily hide your rugburn with clothes, although it will probably resemble Herpes for a few days. On your forehead, you are basically walking outside telling the entire world what a slut you are. There is really only one real way to get rug-burn on your forehead and it involves backdoor penetration and a lot of liquor.
If you are dealing with an uncomfortable coochie-burn situation, you need some alternatives:
Ask your man to shave. This is really only a temporary solution since facial hair grows back. You also run the risk of your boyfriend looking like a preteen lesbian if you have never seen him without his facial hair. This solution is fine for one night, but it isn’t permanent.
Grow your bush to epic proportions. This way the hair will act as a buffer zone between your gentle, kind labia and his angry, hipster beard. If you do this though, you run the risk of your man being unable to find your coinslot. You may also have to watch him pick pubes out of his teeth.
Offer his beard a hot oil treatment. A well-conditioned, moisture-filled beard can actually feel quite nice, especially on a cold vagina. The only problem is, if gay guys out there catch a whiff of his sweet smelling face, they may try and put their penises inside of it. If you are dating a 3-beer-queer this is something you should look out for.
The only real solution is to let a girl go down on you. Honestly, if you are reading this far and you are that into cunnilingus, then what are you doing with a man, anyway? Nobody will treat your whiney giney with more dignity and respect than a lesbian.
You are welcome.
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