Things From My Past I Would Change if I Could Go Back In Time

Written by Gary

Do you ever wish you could go back in time and correct a few mistakes you made? I generally live life without regrets (a few of my outfits in high school notwithstanding), but if I was given the chance, I think that there are probably a few things I would do differently.


Grade School: I would insist that my mother take me to a qualified hair care professional. From my rat-tail to my lopsided sideburns and bowl cut, my childhood is a scrapbook of haircuts gone horribly wrong. If you don’t believe me, believe this: I could suck on my rat-tail. And I did.

Middle School: I would have joined shop class instead of Chorus. In retrospect I was much better suited to shop class since I am great at, and truly enjoy building things with my hands. In Chorus I just charmed my teacher by being a little bitch, and lip synced my way through 2 years of 90s ballads shamelessly. Britney Spears would have been proud.

High School: I would have slept with more people. In high school I was a hopeless romantic (having had my first boyfriend and butt-sex adventure at 15) so I turned down more sex than I had, especially with hot guys that just wanted to experiment, and dropped by my house randomly even though I never told them where I lived.

College: I would have studied. The reason it took me 8 years to get a bachelors degree is because I was too busy drinking, carrying on, and laying out by the pool to get anything done. I signed up for classes like “Women in antiquity” and “Witchcraft and Paganism” in order to fill my schedule and keep living the high life, without facing that adulthood was looming right around the corner. I don’t regret partying my ass off, but I do wonder what might have happened if I had cracked a fucking book once in a while.

So there you have it. I am super happy with the way everything turned out, but knowing what I know now there are definitely a few corrections I could stand to make. How about you?

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About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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