1. Nobody really likes to be the big spoon. In straight relationships, its almost always a given the the guy will at least start out as the big spoon. This is great to initiate some early morning sex by playing bumper-boner until you realize your arm is completely numb after it’s knuckle deep in your girlfriend. With gay guys its even worse because there’s no pre-written rule so you basically have to draw straws on who gets to be comfortable, and who gets prickly pine needles.
2. People aren’t born contortionists. There are many different kinds of sleepers in this world. From side sleepers to back sleepers, belly sleepers, and people that curl up into little fetal balls, everyone has their own sleeping personality. Chances are, your personality won’t match up with your partners. What does this lead to? Some strange origami configuration of lovers where you can’t tell if that appendage penetrating your anus is your boyfriend’s penis or his elbow.
3. A bed is not a desert. There’s a reason that they tell you to strip nude and huddle together in situations where you are extremely cold; body heat is a very powerful source of warmth. Sometimes, after a truly hot bout of sex, I don’t mind sliding around on each other’s naked bodies and enjoying the warmth. Ten minutes later though, and I am ready to hit my frigid side of the bed and rehydrate. The heat from one body is enough to keep you warm through a cold winter night, so the body heat of two is probably powerful enough to microwave popcorn. This may not be such a problem for girls (Emily always talks about how frail and cold she is) but for guys, four sweaty balls is two too many.
They say that spooning leads to forking, and that is true. But after you get all the forking you can handle, I suggest you proclaim that dinner is over, and head to your side of the bed to sleep in peace.
[ via ][ via ]
