Unleash your skinny bitch

Written by Aliza

I have a few guilty pleasures in life. Chocolate, shoes and bearded men being only a few. However, one night while eating chocolate, buying shoes online, and dreaming about a yet-unknown, facial-hair-blessed man, I happened to catch an episode The Real Housewives of New York. These woman made me want to splash acid in my eyes, keel over, and die. They exuded this sense of entitlement, as if they cured cancer, aids, and the common cold at the same time. No one in New York likes them and, if they are magically invited to some social gathering, the stock of that gathering plummets quicker than you can say “trash.” They add nothing to world and I’ve since nicknamed them “busboys,” because they seem to take away from every situation they infest themselves into. They actually remove importance from anything they touch. Like the opposite of the Midas Touch, but with importance, not gold. Like some sort of late-night infomercial “Importance Remover,” pushed by the prostitute-beating Sham Wow spokesman.Needless to say, I’m hooked and have added this cringe-inducing show to my quickly expanding list of guilty pleasures.  

There is one exception to these busboy women however, one of the women, who I find myself constantly cheering on. Bethenny Frankel consistently comes out on top. She’s the most down-to-earth out of all the “housewives” and, most importantly, recognizes the ridiculousness attached to the images the other women try their hardest portray.  It’s because of my adoration of Bethenny and the huge pair of balls she must possess, that I recently picked up her new book, “Naturally Thin: Unleash Your Skinnygirl and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting.”

I won’t lie, it was also my jealously about her bangin’ bod that made me need to know what this woman’s routine involves. The book was SUCH a quick read and honestly, as someone who thought “whipped cream” constituted a dairy staple, I never thought I’d be eating healthier and enjoying it. Just like Bethenny, the book is frank and honest about what will taste good and what will taste like shit. She has so many ideas for such easy snacks and a ton of recipes that won’t leave you hungry or feeling like you just ate chemicalized fat-free bullshit health food. Because Bethenny promotes healthy eating, she’ll never suggest you deprive yourself of anything. If you want steak, have some steak, but only a very small portion. In addition, she has a whole section on alcohol and which alcohol will leave you better off than others.  God knows if I’m eating healthier, some form of alcohol better be involved. Even such tips as buying new tupperwear can help you prepare healthy meals for the week so you can bring your food to work and don’t end up ordering pizza or grabbing that Snickers when you wait until the last possible minute to eat. “Naturally Thin” is available at Bethenny.com

About the author


a born and bred Manhattan-ite who graduated Lehigh University in 2007 with a degree in Journalism. She currently lives with her two patient roommates and works for Valentino Fashion Group where she handles a lot of garment bags, answers a lot of phones, and does a lot of what anyone tells her to (most eagerly in PR and Marketing). She favors brunch over lunch, heels over flats, tequila over vodka, downtown over uptown, and a tropical destination over pretty much anything else in the world.

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