According to a recent poll conductedÂ by SpeedDate.com, 56% of the male population admitted they would dateÂ a Cougar– an older woman on the ‘hunt’ for younger men. What started as an insult torwards older women who would go home with the lastÂ man standing at the pub is now a full fledged cult-like movement. Cougars have their own dating websites, their own television shows, andÂ a place in pop culture.Â Aggressive and confident, the Cougar is viewed as a dynamic contrast against younger woman. But do they live up to the hype?
Cougars pride themselves on a couple of key aspects: they’re sexually evolved, they’re often successful professionally, they aren’t looking to be tied down,Â they know what they want and how to get it. These qualities are sought after, and rightfully so, but I’m happy to report that said qualities ARE NOT EXCLUSIVE TO COUGARS, and are actually wildly embellished when associated with the microtrend.
When Demi Moore unassumingly became the poster woman for steamy, cross-generational relationships,Â she opened the flood gates for every single, agingÂ woman to dip into what I consider my dating pool. I’m familiar withÂ the pro-Cougar propaganda, “men do it all the time” or “younger guys have a better sex drive.” I get it. But are those legitimate reasons to form a relationship? Will I eventually have to date a 17-year-old because every guy my age will want toÂ dip their pens in MILF ink? Is it not impossible enough to find someone to date without a couple more generations to compete with?
Like I mentioned, some men find Cougars appealing because they’re confident in bed and more open sexually. There are girls like that who are your age, guys. You think they’re sluts. Being great in bed is not something that comes with age, it comes with practice. If a 20-something woman has one too many notches in her bedpost, she’s a harlot. If she’s 40-something, she’s avant-garde.
Then there’s the whole myth that Cougars are more “confident” than younger woman. I’m not sure what perpetuates that notion.Â A Cougar talking-pointÂ is that dating younger men makes them feel sexier andÂ younger. Does the satisfactionÂ of someone stroking your ego equate confidence? Shouldn’t a woman feel that way before a man enters the picture?Â Do Cougars, who often roam in packs with other Cougars in search of prey, who shamelessly classify themselves as a subculture of hunters,Â really exude some super-human grit that can’t be found in their younger counterparts?
Is itÂ their aggression thatÂ comes off as confidence? When a younger woman mimics mannerisms that are acceptable and sexy coming from an older woman; their aggression is contorted to desperation. Or bitchiness. To a Cougar Hunter (men who actively seek out older women), young women want a one-on-one relationship that will lead to marriage, and a Cougar offers them freedom because they’ve likely already been there, done that. Don’t flatter yourselves, guys– not every young woman that crosses your path is sneakily attempting to put your penis on layaway until they trick you into proposing. Like there are plenty of older women whoÂ enjoy committed relationships, there are plenty of younger women who don’t.
There are young women who are confident, successful, and sexy. There are older women who are the same. Dating a Cougar does not guarantee that you willÂ evade the things you dislike about someone your own age. And dating a younger man does not make you any younger, or any sexier, than you were to begin with. People like Demi Moore know that. My problem with Cougars isn’tÂ that they date younger men– it’s that they’re pursuing an archetype, rather than being open to the possibility of having fun or falling in love without a blueprint.
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