30,000 top rated condoms were just stolen from the LELO Hex warehouse in Las Vegas.
As anyone with an unexpected baby or incurable sexually transmitted infection can tell you, safe sex is important. The benefits of not having to concern yourself with another life for 18 years (or more), or explain your entire sexual history to random hookups for the rest of time are pretty obvious. Are they worth breaking the law, though? Well, that’s debatable.
Two Las Vegas men apparently thought so, and pulled off a huge condom heist at the LELO Hex warehouse in Nevada. Yes, you read that right. Two men were so concerned with all things safe sex that they literally broke into a warehouse and stole 30,000 LELO Hex condoms. As if that weren’t enough, they returned the following day with a rental car and stole 33 LELO HUGO vibrating butt plugs. We understand the need for loads of top rated condoms, but butt plugs? Please, dear lord, please explain.
Security footage shows two thieves entered the warehouse on May 26th at 7:45 PM, stole two large shipping boxes of LELO’s top rated condoms, and then promptly fled. They returned a few seconds later (um, what?) and grabbed more, because obviously 30,000 condoms won’t even get you through one week of yacht season in the Hamptons.
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Thee following morning at 10:30 AM, they returned with a bitchin’ rental car, rammed it through the loading dock gate, and making off with a box full of more butt plugs than any human being has any business being associated with. They also made off with some LUNA Beads (to help exhausted vaginas do kegels, or maybe butt kegels?), and some other unidentified sex toys.
The president of LELO, Pavle Sedic stated, “At this stage, we’ll be happy if the thieves just use the condoms themselves. We’re currently working with the police to identify those responsible and ask members of the public to get in touch. Two raids in less than 24-hours is pretty shocking, but everyone knows it’s close to impossible to get additional security during Memorial Day weekend and the thieves obviously realized that. They seemed to have a very clear idea on what they were looking for.”
We know that LELO Hex condoms are high end, so maybe there is a huge difference in the way they feel, but we don’t understand why thieves would risk jail time to steal condoms when they could just go to their neighborhood clinic or any gay bar worth it’s salt and get as many free condoms as they want.
Apparently the hexagonal design of the LELO Hex condom is supposed to feel better to every penis, and stay perfectly in place whilst getting it on. We’ll report back on this.
Honestly this crime has us a little confused, because the thieves definitely broke the law, which is bad, but they are promoting safe sex, which is good.
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