Dear amazon.com seller,
Thanks for the textbook.  I also really appreciate you brightening up my otherwise dull and mundane walk up to my apartment yesterday. Turns out it’s way more fun when you meet your neighbors while holding this box:
AND it’s a gift that keeps on giving – I’m guessing every time that I see the aforementioned neighbors!
It’s gonna be great. Now, if you excuse me, to live up to my neighborhood sexpot status, I gotta go rub some sort of edible substance all over my body. Perhaps Kama Sutra would like to send me some samples?…