If you have a mermen (the plural of merman, obviously) fetish, get on Instagram immediately.
My mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up. Even though I was a child, I was still pretty reasonable with this, and just decided I would build an art empire. If I had known then that I could be a merman though, things probably would have gone a lot differently.
As you know, merman hair is totally a thing. I guess that trend wasn’t enough for some of these hard core likely homos, because apparently, straight-up mermen are a thing, too. I don’t know where they are getting these tails, but the second I move away from the pool-less land of concrete where I currently live, I am buying a fucking merman tail, and swimming away into the sunset. Look for me and my fellow mermen on Instagram, when I take every single one of these hoes to the cleaners, and steal their jobs.
READ MORE: Merman Hair is a Thing Now
But for now, enjoy this sea-life man-candy… because mermen on Instagram is about as good as your day is going to get.
