What is big dick energy, anyway?
There is no easy way to say this, so I am just going to come out and say it. I am a big dick magnet. This means that no matter what I do, I always attract guys with big dicks. This can be a great thing for my mood, since everybody loves playing with a big dick, but it’s not always a great thing for my butthole, which wasn’t designed to accommodate some of the huge white dicks it has encountered over the years. To be honest, I prefer a more average sized dick, because you can do a lot more with that. But, like my skin color and sexuality, I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
In the last 20 minutes, (thanks to Ariana Grande putting Pete Davidson’s dick on blast) big dick energy has become a hot topic on the Internet, and it got me to thinking that maybe I don’t actually attract big dicks. Maybe I just know how to recognize big dick energy, and gravitate towards it like racists to a Trump rally. So what is big dick energy exactly?
Urban dictionary defines “big dick energy” as “Confidence without cockiness. It is the sexual equivalent of writing a check for $10K knowing you got it in the bank account.” Fair, but what is big dick energy really?
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Basically, big dick energy is a kind of self-assured confidence that says, “If we end up getting naked together, I have the power to destroy your asshole for all other men, forever. I won’t though, because I really have nothing to prove.” Big dick energy is a sort of disguised kindness.
You don’t have to actually have a big dick to have big dick energy, its more of an aura or vibe. I’ve come to realize through writing this, that I am attuned to sensing big dick energy in others, and that is the reason I have always been a big dick magnet.
So if you are hoping to attract more big dicks into your life, the first thing you have to do is learn how to sense big dick energy. Here is the only thing you really need to know:
Big dick energy comes from natural confidence. This is different from arrogance. Ask yourself if your dude’s tude comes from being self-assured, or insecure. If it’s a natural confidence and isn’t put on, you may have a big dick on (and hopefully in) your hands. If he is trying too hard to impress you, dominate a conversation, or get in your pants, he may be overcompensating for something.
Obviously there is trial and error for everything. So in order to become a ‘big dick energy’ aficionado, you may have to expose yourself to a wide variety of dicks. Pay attention to the vibes of the guys you go home with, and see if you notice any patterns in their general energy, and the size of their dicks. If you do this enough, you will eventually be able to tell how big a guy’s dick is just by talking to them for a few minutes, a skill which will serve you (and your vagina) well for the rest of your life.
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