It’s only 1pm and I’ve already had a boatload of wildness.
1) My Neighbor Thinks I Want to Do His Brains Out. About 20 minutes ago I walked through my lobby door only to see my neighbor walking out in a beautiful grey suit. This neighbor and I are always cordial, but I especially liked his suit today so I smiled big and said “Hey William! Meetings today? I like your suit- looks handsome!” He smiled back and I think we had that weird eye moment. Crap, he totally thinks I want to do him. I don’t, I just really liked his suit. #awkward
2) I’m Attending the Gayest Event of the Year Tonight. Tonight is REVEL, a super gay event in NYC that I’ll be attending as my darling friend Dev’s date. Dev is every woman’s dream, only he has no interest in vagina. I’m proud to be his date for tonight’s event even if he won’t try to sleep with me:( …I love gay men more than any other type. LET IT BE KNOWN.
3) You Still Love Me? So Send Chocolates. My ex boyfriend, Gavin, a sprightly 40-something has been texting me more often than not lately. I got this email from his co-worker today, which was admittedly super sweet, but I think chocolates would’ve been a more direct way of saying “yo, gurl, you still be on my mind.” P.S. If we got married would Ben share a room with your cat?
LOL!!!