One does not leave a convivial party before closing time. –Winston Churchill
1. My Boobs Are Taped! That’s a good sign, lovers! You know it’s going to be a good night when you have to break out the double-sided tape to keep your nips in place. I mean, that’s how I feel anyway. It all started at around 9 AM this morning when I put my favorite bra on, followed by several layers of cold-fighting cotton and wool. Within minutes of getting dressed I felt a POP! My underwire broke free and instead of feeling annoyed at the little piece of metal nearly stabbing my heart out, I rejoiced. I rejoiced because a broken bra means free boobs, and much in the style of the women’s lib movement of yesteryear I’ve abandoned bras altogether for the remainder of the day. Tonight’s ensemble will be a sheer black bodysuit with just enough opaque material to keep my nipples behind closed doors (it’s my bachelorette party, f*ck it) with the right amount of ultra-sticky double-sided tape. There will also be a seemingly more demure gold-tone pencil skirt to balance the act. Don’t worry- you’ll be seeing oodles of pictures by tomorrow.
2. Gogo Dancers. Um, yes, obviously I will be having those at my party tonight. If you don’t live in NYC or somehow aren’t on our email list (which is the only way to get an invitation other than being a total rockstar), you are probably unaware of this. Be aware. Be very aware. The picture you see below is of one of our actual dancers. His face has been protected to keep you from touching yourself at work.
3. Scrunchies Are Awesome. I’m not really sure I care what anyone says… I really like those big, ridiculous gold and/or velvet scrunchies that everyone wore circa 1991. I’m bringing ’em back. Hard.
3. Bad Things Happen, But That’s Okay. Over the past few days a few rough things have happened. A few people I’m close with have fallen ill, lost jobs, or have gone through especially tough breakups. I think life is all in your perspective. I sort of don’t mind when I have a tough day (well, I do… but not as much as I used to), because I realize the hard moments in life are the ones that build you up for the big, beautiful good moments. I think of it like labor pains… if you endure them, you get the sweetest, most beautiful baby. So, to all my friends going through hard sh*t, I love you and I promise it’ll get better.
