Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day

I had a lot of time to think on this cold, rainy day in New York.  You know, about the important things like coffee, blowjobs, and capes.

1) Dunkin Donuts Better Start Making More Pumpkin Stuff. I waltzed into a Dunkin Donuts on 14th Street and 6th Avenue today to order my usual medium decaf with a small shot of pumpkin flavoring and milk.  I let out an audible gasp when the donut technician informed me that, “the pumpkin flavoring is seasonal and the season is over because Halloween is done.” Wrong, buddy.  Pumpkin goes on, and on well past Thanksgiving.  I got a mocha instead.

2) Men Really Need to be More Aware of Trimming Testicle Hair. As I walked out of Dunkin Donuts en route to my laser hair removal session at Completely Bare, I realized I had two things on my mind: crotch hair and things that generally annoy me.  This thought process obviously led me to the thought of overgrown ball hair, and how no one needs to be exposed to it.  Also, attention all men: you’re more likely to experience the sensation of balls-in-mouth if the woman doesn’t risk coughing up a hairball.  Just sayin’.

3) Goodnight Moon is Great. That book really rocks.

4) I’m Back to Loving Old People. After a short, recent stint with the 30 and under population, I’m back to loving old people.  And by “old people” I mean men.

5) I Love Capes. Especially this one from Bloomingdales: