Itâ€™s that time of year again, when 20somethings all over America engage in a familiar self-dialogue spurred by some variation of the question, â€œWill the breast glitter distract from the label on my â€˜We Haul Woodâ€™ lumberjack costume?â€ Fear not, naked sparkled one, the answer is no.
Halloween is a day of masquerade, a day meant for pretending youâ€™re someone else. I ask myself then, why is it that a majority of girls dress as if they want that â€œsomeone elseâ€ to be a sexualized honeybee (insert: pirate, farmer, Disney character)? Donâ€™t get me wrong, Iâ€™m pretty sure no one confused me for a real batter on team â€œPlayerâ€ in college, so I am in no way condemning the practice. Could it be that deep down we all have a desire to dress more sexual, and spend each day subconsciously suppressing that desire by wearing (more) conservative clothing in an effort to conform to what society deems â€œappropriateâ€?
I say embrace it. Unless youâ€™re a hermit, you look for attention from the opposite sex (or same sex, not that thereâ€™s anything wrong with that). And, yes, although you can be attracted to someone because of their intelligence, when itâ€™s 2 am and youâ€™re in a crowded bar elbowing Pebbles on the left and Sailor Moon on the right, youâ€™re looking to get some Halloween, in-full-costume ass. Unless youâ€™re costuming yourself on a normal basis- and if thatâ€™s the case then this holiday really will be just another Friday night for you.
If youâ€™re costume challenged, go to RickysHalloween.com for a variety of risquÃ© Halloween costumes you can buy online and a listing of their store locations for a quick pick up. Here are a viable three out of the selection: 1. â€œPin-Up Cadetâ€ â€“ All of your boot camp fantasies will come true! 2. â€œFrostâ€ â€“ A really cold Eskimo hooker? 3. â€œWild Thingâ€ â€“ One part hunter, one part Native American, all parts sexy.
We all know that one girl who despises the sexualized Halloween costumes. She says theyâ€™re degrading, Halloween is only meant to be scary, etc. Let her know that in 15 years weâ€™ll be happy throwing on a white sheet and using the real bags under our eyes as an accoutrement to a half-hazard ghost costume sported while taking our kids trick-or-treating. But until then, Iâ€™ll take one â€œFantasy Saloon Flapperâ€ costume and a pair of false eyelashes, thank you very much.