We live in a society where you have to reach a certain age to drink, smoke, drive, and carry a gun. All the things that involve irresponsibility have age limits and restraints like tests and licenses. If you think about it, all the above referenced things involve bringing harm to others or yourself, so it makes sense that they would be governed by the law.
But what about hurting your children? All you have to do in order to have one of those is stick your penis into someone’s vagina (yet another reason why I am so glad to be gay) and then boom–three lives are ruined for 30 seconds of pleasure (I am assuming. I lasted 11 hours my first time because I am a stud).
When my diabolical plans of world dominance finally bear fruit, I intend to implement some kind of screening process when it comes to procreation. I think children should be sterilized at birth and then (after a rigorous battery of tests, probably involving me sleeping with the potential fathers) regain their ability to reproduce when they are certain that they are ready. This would also allow people to have sex a lot more and enjoy it for the recreational sport that it is, rather than fearing the consequences of distended vaginas and 18 years of agony. There are way too many kids in this world that live in unfit conditions and broken homes, and even more without homes at all. Plus, have you ever noticed how it is always the stupid, poor, bootleg, broke-down, lowest dregs of society that decide to pop 30 kids out of their gineys? (Yes, I am talking about Britney Spears. She is on her way).
Regulating when and how people can reproduce solves problems of overpopulation, child abuse, welfare issues, and child homelessness. If you want proof of how this would work, just look at China: They regulate the number of children per household, and now they basically have a lien on our country.
I would never normally say this, but I think in this case the Chinese have the right idea. Let’s stop irresponsible reproduction before it stops us- either that or all turn gay. The choice is yours.
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