1. Women can wear menswear, and it is trendy. If a man wears a smart cardigan-dress combo to work he will probably be publicly humiliated and/or sexually harassed. Women also get to wear fun dangly chandel-earrings and panties that caress their nether-regions with comfort. Men often wear the same old scratchy cotton underwear until their ass sweat literally rips a hole in it.
2. Women can be catty or nice at their discretion and it is considered normal behavior. It isn’t uncommon for a woman to be jealous of her friend and call talk behind her back. If a man sees one of his bro’s wearing the Jersey of his favorite football team, he can’t mutter Bitch under his breath, comment snidely on how fat he looks to anyone within earshot, and then go hug him and act like everything is peonies and pussywillows.
3. A woman can rely on her period to get her out of tough situations. Pulled over by a cop? Maybe you were too overly emotional to see which lane you were in. Accidentally forwarded a rude email to your boss? Maybe your hormones are over-active and you couldn’t help yourself. The beauty of this system is that nobody is EVER going to say “Prove it.” They would most likely rather let you get away with anything than see a bloody tampon.
4. Women can make out with each other and it isn’t gay. If this existed for straight men I, for one, would be a much happier person.
5. Women become mothers. There is absolutely no figure more revered in the history of man than the mother. Every time you ask someone who their hero is, mother is right up there on the list. Yes, you may have to go through nine months of Hell and your vagina will probably never be the same, but for the rest of your life there will be someone on this Earth who appreciates you unconditionally and will always put you on a pedestal (that is to say, unless you are a nasty bitch who runs out on her children. Then you forfeit both your vagina and all the adulation).
I am not saying that I would want to wear dangly earrings every day (even though I would), or that I would ever want to push a baby out of my crotchal region. I am saying, however, that there are a lot of advantages to being a woman, and a woman by way of birthright has every right to take full advantage of those advantages.
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