Relationship Spotting: You are the Company you Keep

Are you someone who is constantly surrounded by a cloud of drama. Do you worry that your best girlfriend will be mad at you if you don’t show up to her Bedroom Kandi dildo shopping/Tupperware party? Do you find yourself constantly stressed out and pulled in different directions because your friends can’t get along with each other long enough to down a martini? If so, you might be surrounded by assholes.

The old adage You are the company you keep contains more than a grain of truth. The people you surround yourself with are a direct reflection of you, since you have all the power in the world to choose who those people are. Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you have friends in your life that you hang around with out of pity? You feel sorry for them because they are misunderstood by everyone else, and you want to be seen as a good person, and possibly buy your way into heaven? Guess what- they aren’t misunderstood, they are annoying assholes. And you aren’t a good person, you are actually condescending for thinking you are better than them, and pathetic for caring what other people think of you. So in reality, you are an asshole too.

Do you have friends that you hang around because you are scared of them? Would you rather be on their side than risk angering them? If so, you are a pussy and need to man up. Fear may be a huge motivator in every other aspect, but it has no place in friendships.

Do you have friends that you only hang out with because you have always been friends, even though you barely have anything in common anymore? If so, release yourself from that prison and go out and make friends with people who match your new personality. Do not just hang out with people because you used to touch each other’s gennies inappropriately while you were making penises out of leggos.

My point is, friends exist for one reason and one reason only: support. We hang out with people for a multitude of reasons, most of them being completely retarded. So look around you and assess your situation. Then cut the chaff and get rid of those people that do nothing but bring negativity to your life.

And if you are that person that constantly brings negativity, do everyone a favor and go live in a mountain cavern somewhere in the Himalayas. Those polar bears won’t put up with your drama for long and you might end up learning some very valuable lessons about the company you choose to keep.