Forgive me while I get a little existential, but I have been thinking a lot lately about love and money lately. Can you be truly happy with one or the other, or do you need both love and money to truly be fulfilled? Here are a few thoughts on the subject, in response to popular quotes:
“Love Lasts Forever.”
Even if you leave it alone completely, love will still exist on some level, inside you. Once it exists, it is almost impossible to completely destroy. Money, if left alone to the elements, will decompose. A one-dollar bill biodegrates in 21 months. A five-dollar bill lasts 16. Even the hundred-dollar bill lasts only 89 months. I have had fuck-buddies that lasted longer than that. Love wins.
“Love can keep you warm on cold nights.”
Tell that to Jack and Rose from the movie Titanic, whose love was not enough to save their relationship from fatal hypothermia. With money however, can buy you as many blankets and heaters as you can take. Even taken quite literally, if you sew enough money together and layer it on top of you, it will keep you warm. I have never understood why homeless people don’t do this. Money wins.
“Money makes the world go ’round.”
Taken literally, money doesn’t in fact make the world go round. The actual answer has to do with some physics theory called angular momentum, which I won’t bore you with. On an existential level, money fuels our society and keeps civilization moving. Love makes us care enough to even have a civilization. This one is a draw.
“Love Hurts.”
Emotional pain and physical pain are very different things. Even the worst heartache of your life is totally survivable. You can’t say the same if someone drops a quarter off the Empire State building onto your head. Advantage=money.
“Money is the root of all evil.”
People do a lot of evil things for money, but I would argue that people do even worse things for love. The most heinous crimes are often a result of some loss of love. For instance, The Holocaust happened because of Hitler’s lack of love for his fellow man. Amanda Bynes’ polyester wig happened because she clearly had a severe lack of love in her childhood. Advantage=love.
“Love is a universal language.”
In this instance, money speaks almost as loudly as love. If you find yourself lampooned in a Turkish prison about to get anal-raped by your cell-mate, flashing a few hundies in his face might slow his roll. On the other hand, if you appealed to his sympathy by showing him photos of your children, love might also swoop in and save the day. Either way, hopefully you can at least convince him to spit on it first. Draw.
So who is the winner in the end? I am not sure there is one. Love is an emotion, an experience, and a state of being. Money is a tool, a resource, and a possession. I think you need a little of both to be happy. There are two pieces of good news, however:
1. If you don’t have both love and money, you can use one to create the other. If you have an abundance of love, you can use those connections with people to network, and make money. If you have a lot of money, you can give back to the community through charity, help others, and create love.
2. You can use both love and money to get laid. What more could you possibly ask for?
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