Poor Jess Simpson. Now, don’t get me wrong people..out of all the celebs I am obsessed with, Jessica is not one of them. But if there is one thing I know, it’s that break-ups SUCK. Not only did she think she married the man of her dreams(Nick Lachey), but after that fell apart, trying to pick up the pieces with a new man (Tony Romo) who just ditches her the DAY BEFORE HER BIRTHDAY..what a douche. Sure, she’s high maintenance..she is a famous diva singer, what did you expect? You knew that going into it, Tony.
Reports say that she’s been dealing like any other girl..hanging out with her girlfriends, eating ice cream and talking about how men are the devil. This is just one of those times that I want to tell the paparazzi to back the eff off..they took a pic of her leaving the gym post-breakup. After my breakups I don’t want anyone to see my greasy, pale complexion caused by junk food and excessive crying..nevertheless the entire world to see it in a magazine. So if Jess’s break-up schedule is the same as mine, by next week she should hit the “fuck it all” stage, and decide to go out too many bars, and drink mixed drinks because “liquor is quicker” and dance with every guy in the bar who is remotely attractive, usually ending up following up a long tearful talk with a nice gay man who will tell me that I am too good for that asshole with a drunk dial to said asshole. Heads up Tony, in T-7days you’ll be getting bashed in bars and drunk dialed.
LC is on my breakup schedule too..maybe this is her drunk-texting after her break-up with Jason
