Seeing as I haven’t really had sex in nearly a year (and I’ve been pretty open about it), you might assume that any penis in general would be shocking to me. That’s probably true, but the variety penis that I’m reporting on today is especially shocking. Not only is this penis extremely long, it’s also skinny and kind of squiggly. It’s like fusilli pasta on crack, but with the ability to create new life forms.
North American scientists recently discovered that DUCKS have the longest penises of all birds. On average, a duck schlong will measure 42.5 centimeters. That’s about 16 inches. In other words, even if you’re a well-hung human male, a duck’s dick will double yours.
You’re probably thinking “Bryce, that image is basically a sketch… that can’t be real.” Well, you’re wrong. It’s all true. And I’ve got the duck porn proof below to prove it. I must warn you- if you’re not open to the idea of duck jizz, this video is not for you.
Eversion in air: from blogs.discovermagazine.com/loom from Carl Zimmer on Vimeo.
Oh my!
Fascinating!
Girl, and I thought I had seen every penis known to man!
You got me there. I will never complain about the men I date again.
Even the Dominican’s!
Um. thats a pig penis. Ducks (all birds) dont have them. They invert their cloaca to rub their sperm all over the lady birds cloaca. No penis. At all.