Pencil dick is a real thing, here’s how to handle it.
In six years of Internet writing, never has a more important social issue come across my desk (no pun intended) than that of pencil dick. I know that there are a lot of horrible things going on in the world right now, but I beg you to stop, collaborate, and listen to the topic I am about to explore, because it is pertinent information for anyone who has ever held, tasted, or sat upon a penis.
The phrase ‘pencil dick’ has existed since the dawn of penis. It has been used as a negative slur to refer to someone with a smaller package, or thrown around in the school yard to make young boys feel bad about their developing sex organs. I’m not sure that the idea of pencil dick has ever really been explored though, so I am here to do it.
According to urban dictionary, it is defined as:
Rather than being used as a blanket term for small penises, pencil dicks actually refer to a specific subset of ‘smaller penises’ that are long and skinny.
I know most people say that when it comes to penises, the bigger the better, but my personal asshole has met, and engaged with many a dick, and I can tell you firmly that pencil dicks are NOT always a bad thing. Pencil dicks can actually be a great thing, depending on who they are attached to. So to give this subject the respect it deservers, here are the pros and cons of that long, skinny, writing utensil-like peen.
PRO. Anal sex is much easier with a pencil dick. You can do it much more often, with less pain, and less lube. If you’re an anal virgin, try a pencil dick first. Your asshole will thank you.
CON. Many guys with pencil dicks are total assholes, because they feel like they need to prove something. If your man owns a pencil dick, and a huge truck, you should probably run for the hills before he blacks both your eyes.
READ MORE: What Do Women Really Think of Dick Pics?
PRO. Public sex is easier with a pencil dick because it slides in without any muss or fuss. Also, less natural or synthetic lube is needed and you can stow the pencil dick away in a jiffy if the cops come before he does.
CON. For women, pencil dicks might not always have the girth needed for an orgasm. Thus, you may need to teach your man about where the clitoris is, and what to do with it. Or try anal. Actually, just start with anal.
PRO. Many guys with pencil dicks have personalities to match, I.E. they aren’t trying to hand their huge dicks to every hole that offers itself up. This is a great thing if your last man slept with every hoe in your contact list. A faithful pencil dick deserves respect.
CON. Some guys with pencil dicks just don’t know what to do with them, and the guys aren’t willing to learn. If you encounter this kind of pencil dick, just jump ship before you end up in a 5 year orgasm-less relationship with a man that suffers from a vaginal learning disability.
PRO. Pencil dicks are easier all around. They don’t get in the way as much and they fit into all of your orifices more easily. Also, a pencil dick won’t ruin your holes for all other men, so that’s good too.
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