Dear Jonathan,
I have a couple answers for you.
1) If we aren’t holding your hand, it’s because we don’t want to. No time limit buddy, Jessica just isn’t feeling it. Either do it or wait for her to do it. Somethings are just better off not discussed.
2) Girls don’t like to be smothered. We as a messed up rule tend to go for the jerks, the assholes if you will. While we do enjoy trying to politely “fix,” our as men say “change” certain idiosyncrasies, sometimes too much is too much. If you want to say “Honey,” just do it.
3) If you think you are rushing, you are. *
4) It’s a letter to your girlfriend, not a job application which is good for you because I doubt you would have even got an interview. I mean really. Signing it at the bottom? Stop with that.
I really hope this helps as this letter is the epitome of what not to do. Good luck with your next one and just use Jessica for practice.
*As a rule, telling your girlfriend that the other girls you asked out first said “no way, are you stupid?” is probably not the best thing. Also, don’t tell a girl you are inexperienced and you need to be told what to do and what not to do. No one wants to be responsible for micromanaging their boyfriends! Well, not me anyway.
This looks like a prepubescent boy wrote this letter.
Dear Jonathan,
It was bad enough that you conceived of entrusting your stunted (Sorry.) thoughts to that miserable sheet of cellulose, but the execution was a far worse offense, on several levels.
You have my sympathy Brother.
May I offer to you a bit of advice? The first thing that you need to do, as with many people in today’s society, is to learn how to express yourself in English, with proper grammar and punctuation.
The second thing is never, ever to ask such silly questions. Your gut will provide the answers to your unspoken questions. If you do not receive the right responses, move on! Nothing succeeds like trying, but nothing is stupider than throwing away your energy on someone who does not appreciate you (as is her right) for who you are. Screw up your courage Brother, and move on.