Want the Perfect Pet? Try a Dogbird

Written by Gary

I am a total dog person. The reason I refer to myself that way is because I basically hate every other type of animal, save for miniature piglets, and horses, if you know what I mean. Birds are probably the animal I loathe the most because I don’t really understand the point of keeping them caged up when they have fucking wings protruding from their backs.


Birds were meant to fly, so it doesn’t really make sense to keep them caged up. I have kept birds in the past, and aside from making loud, shrill noises and shitting on everything I loved, they didn’t really serve much purpose. I can say with certainty however, that if dogbirds actually existed I would get my sweet ass to a pet store post-haste. In my mind a dogbird would combine the best parts of both species, meaning you wouldn’t have to walk them because they could fly outside to take a dump on their own, but they wouldn’t fly away and leave you because they would be loyal. Best of both worlds, #amiright?



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About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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