Why I Love Canadian Dick

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Written by Gary

Canadian dick = the most underrated dick in North America.

ryan gosling

Are you the type of girl that has been searching the United States for the perfect dick all of her life, but has never managed to find it? Have you dated a bunch of American dicks, and constantly been disappointed by their rudeness, penchant for ghosting, and general girth and length? If so, I suggest you head to Canada in your search for a dick that fits, because I can tell you firsthand that Canadian dick is well worth a close examination, for the following reasons:

Canadian men are nicer in general.

This also extends to their Canadian penises. A Canadian penis is much more likely to be attentive to your feelings and needs than their rougher American counterparts. We also place the politeness of a Canadian dick above Indian penis, Mexican penis, and even fine Malay dick.

Canada is next to the United States, so in some places you can literally walk to the closest Canadian penis.

This makes it much easier to find and sample your Canadian dream dick.

Canadian dicks on average are larger than American dicks.

Canada comes in number 80 on a survey of 116 countries, at 5.480 inches. The average US dick is only 5.1.

In terms of circumcision, Canadian dicks are a mixed bag.

32% of men are cut in Canada, which bodes well if you are the type of girl who likes a surprise, and doesn’t mind a foreskin!

Canadian dicks are healthier.

Unlike the United States, Canada has universal healthcare, which means that Canadian penises are probably well-kept and properly maintained.

Half of the provinces in Canada are governed by women.

Chances are that any Canadian dick you encounter will be much more open to what a woman really wants.

READ MORE: 20 Things That Resemble a Huge White Dick

Canadian dicks are less bigoted than American dicks.

The country has even banned the Westboro Baptist Church from entering. This means shacking up with a Canadian is akin to doing a moral good deed.

About 30% of Canada is covered in trees and forests.

This makes it much easier to live out your Canadian lumber jack dick fantasy.

The tap water in Canada is higher quality than most bottled water.

And since we are made up of 60% water, it stands to reason that Canadian dicks are made of higher quality stuff than DASANI. So drink up!

Believe it or not, Canada is the most educated country in the world.

So a Canadian dick is very likely to give you a smart baby, or at least an intellectual sexual experience.

There is an actual island in Canada named “Dildo.”

You don’t name an island Dildo unless you know what you are implying.

Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds are both Canadian.

I am pretty sure both of their dicks are considered national treasures, no matter what country you are in.

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About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall

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