Denver is home to some seriously monster white dick.
Monster white dick is sort of a passion project for me. When it comes to big white dicks, I am something of an expert. I don’t mean that I have a big white dick (my dick is more caramel in coloration), but I basically have an honorary degree since I’m a big dick magnet that is very attracted to blondes (thanks, Dad, and Sigmund Freud).
I want to preface this whole diatribe by saying that I have nothing against dicks of color I have had more than a few colorful dicks against me (please see my feelings on Moroccan dick and Jamaican dick), in many different ways. If dicks were on a rainbow spectrum, I would be all over the place. However in Colorado, I am at ground zero for monster white dick, and I need to share that with the world.
Recently I moved to Denver on a whim, and was immediately struck silent by a few things. While Denver is the ideal place for me (close to great summer mountain hikes, temperate climate, and a complete lack of humidity and swamp ass), the thing that really twisted my titties was the fact that there are super hot, big white dicks EVERYWHERE.
READ MORE: 20 Things That Resemble a Huge White Dick
I don’t mean that everyone is hanging out with their wangs out, but you literally can’t walk down the street here without spying tons of hot white guys. Let me preface this by saying that while Denver may be a lot of things, I don’t think it is that racially diverse.
A quick Google search confirmed that Denver is actually 77.5% white. Even though it has a high Latinx population (31.2%), there are twice as many white dicks, which means there are twice as many monster white dicks.
I would never kiss and tell, so I’ll just tell. If monster white dick is your thing, Denver is literally right up your alley. If you’re into gingers, you can’t spit here without hitting a freckled ginger dick. If you’re into hippies, weed is legal here, so you might get high enough to ease the pain of taking a Denver dick.
I am literally sitting in a coffee shop right now, with seven other men, all with white dicks attached to them. I can’t speak to their size, but I am sensing some big dick energy from four of them, and that is a pretty good ratio. There are no women in here.
And speaking of women, they are few and far between. They call this place ‘Menver’, and for good reason. This is a male dominated population, with single men aged 20-25 outnumbering single women by nearly 9,000.
So are you a single lady who loves nothing more than hopping on a monster white dick before her coffee in the morning? Move to Denver! Are you tired of living in snatch-filled cities with too much competition during happy hour? Give Colorado a try.
Do you love big dicks, but are totally racist against every race except white? Don’t move here yet. Racism totally sucks. Go to a psychologist, work through your issues, sleep with some minority dicks (call it research if you must), and then move to Denver and find your white monster dream dick. Or maybe end up with a minority dick—whatever keeps you and your vagina happy and exhausted.
At the end of the day, monster dicks come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. But Denver is chock full of unattached, big white ones. If that appeals to your delicate sensibilities and makes your nips stand at attention like Donald Trump saluting Kim Jong Un, get your vadge to Menver ASAP.
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