Today is a particularly sweet day for me. It’s the 2nd anniversary of the best day of my life- Ben’s birthday!
1) Saying “I Love You.” Ashley and I were talking this morning about all our mutual friends falling in love, getting hitched, and the general road to mature adulthood that we all seem to be on whether we like it or not. She mentioned that some of her friends were saying “I love you” to the wrong people- just to be at the point of love because it feels like the right thing to do. We swapped endless stories of 20’s and 30’s couples just exchanging the words because, frankly, they don’t know what else to do after several months of dating someone. I don’t think I’ve ever been that way… in fact, the whole love thing has scared the bejesus out of me for quite some time. I feel strongly that it shouldn’t be uttered unless you have mega strong intentions of seeing that relationship through for the long haul. In fact, I’ve been so strict about this policy that on several occasions I’ve responded “thanks…” to varied men that thought it would be appropriate to share those feelings with me at a time or level that just left me feeling suspicious. My first serious relationship lasted nearly 5 years, and it took us about 2.5 months to get to “I love you.” We did love each other, deeply, but not to the point of ever being able to say “I’m IN love with you” – there’s a big difference. The 2nd relationship was the one that resulted in my son’s birth, and I should’ve been wary when a man 25 years my senior said “I love you” after only 2 weeks of dating. He didn’t feel love, he felt lust. It took me a while to get there with him, but in retrospect I don’t think I loved him till after I realized I was having his child, and even then I was never IN love. It took me 24 years to figure out what real love was all about- I had to meet my son before I ever felt the rush of pure, sincere, unadulterated love. Since he was born I’ve only had two significant dating experiences. The first was about 6 months after I split with Baby Daddy (I know it seems soon, I was in a weird place) with a man that I had known for several years. It was right place, right time vs right person, right time. The second is happening now… and I feel grateful that he didn’t say “I love you” after 2 weeks. How do you trust the idea of someone’s love if it doesn’t come from a sincere place? Shouldn’t we all value those words in a big, fat way when there’s no other tangible good in a romantic relationship?
2) Being a Mom Rocks My World. I’ve had a pretty wild ride these past two years, but every single second of it has been cherished because I’ve had my little guy. I can’t imagine how parents of several children must feel, because I’ve been on top of the world for 2 years now with just this one little guy:)
3) I Wish Dunkin Donuts Would Make Me Their Official NYC Spokesperson. That’s all.
Congrats my love, I am so proud of you!