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Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (hawt Friday edition)

Written by Bryce

Penis Cakes & Dates

The weather is beautiful, I bought like 20 carts of groceries at Trader Joe’s, and I’m in mental prep mode for an epic bachelorette fiesta tomorrow night.

1) I Have a Movie Date Tonight. I’m pretty excited for a variety of reasons, but most importantly because this guy is good news and I haven’t seen a movie since the Cannes Film Festival last May.  I suppose that’s an occupational hazard of being a mom- there’s just no extra time in the day to kill with movies usually. I also like that movie dates imply a “jeans are ok” sentiment.  Plus, I might make out high school style.

2) I’m Hosting a Bachelorette Party at My House Tomorrow Night. That’s right, my house will be covered in penis-shaped favors in honor of someone very close to me’s upcoming wedding.  I hope one of those naughty cops shows up, although honestly I get the feeling that the bride-to-be would more likely be into a naughty lawyer or something. This will also be the most dick I’ve had in my house since living here.

3) This Bag is Great. I think I need it, and it’s under $200?! Mmmhmmm.

4) Why Can’t Someone Domesticate Squirrels? I’d like a cuddly one as a pet.

raunchy image via this fun-ass-site

About the author

Bryce

Bryce Gruber is a New York mom to five growing kids, wife to one great husband and professional shopping editor. You've seen her work in Reader's Digest, Taste of Home, Family Handyman, MSN, Today's Parent, Fashion Magazine, Chatelaine, NBC and so many other beloved brands.

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