Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (hawt Friday edition)

Written by Bryce

Penis Cakes & Dates

The weather is beautiful, I bought like 20 carts of groceries at Trader Joe’s, and I’m in mental prep mode for an epic bachelorette fiesta tomorrow night.

1) I Have a Movie Date Tonight. I’m pretty excited for a variety of reasons, but most importantly because this guy is good news and I haven’t seen a movie since the Cannes Film Festival last May.  I suppose that’s an occupational hazard of being a mom- there’s just no extra time in the day to kill with movies usually. I also like that movie dates imply a “jeans are ok” sentiment.  Plus, I might make out high school style.

2) I’m Hosting a Bachelorette Party at My House Tomorrow Night. That’s right, my house will be covered in penis-shaped favors in honor of someone very close to me’s upcoming wedding.  I hope one of those naughty cops shows up, although honestly I get the feeling that the bride-to-be would more likely be into a naughty lawyer or something. This will also be the most dick I’ve had in my house since living here.

3) This Bag is Great. I think I need it, and it’s under $200?! Mmmhmmm.

4) Why Can’t Someone Domesticate Squirrels? I’d like a cuddly one as a pet.

raunchy image via this fun-ass-site

About the author


Bryce Gruber is a Manhattanite mom who can be found jet-setting off to every corner of the globe. She loves exotic places, planes with WiFi, summer clothes, & Sucre brown butter truffles. Bryce's aim is to do to luxury what Elton John did to being gay. Follow her on twitter @brycegruber


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