Bryce Gruber’s Thoughts of the Day (ladylike edition)

Making mistakes is a lot better than not doing anything. -Billie Joe Armstrong

1. Being a Girl… means something different to every vagina out there. To some, it’s merely the presence of a vagina in general. To others, it’s wearing floral prints, sparkles, and sipping Chardonnay from a glass with an extended pinky. The issue of femininity has been an ever-present theme for me the past week or two as I’ve watched a very close friend struggle with what her femininity means to her. She’s a successful executive at a company primarily operated by men, is single, and generally has her life sh*t together- except all the masculine energy of her day to day life somehow keeps knocking her lady balance off, leaving me to wonder exactly what it means to be feminine and what the right formula is for a balanced sense of feminine energy. I’d be lying if I said I’m in dresses and skirts every single day of the week, but maybe the balance is in the subtleties like remembering to wear soft-colored nail polish and mascara when heading out in a pant suit, or ladylike shoes with great details when wearing torn up boyfriend jeans. Any thoughts out there? And yes, mild cleavage is always a good start.

2. I Might Have a Boyfriend. I know it sounds weird to say that I “might” have a boyfriend, but it’s true. I’m not exactly sure, and it’s mostly because in the past few weeks we haven’t exactly spoken about it in clear terms (aside from his occasional smattering of I-want-you-to-be-the-mother-of-my-children comments). I like him, and it’s not just for the traditional “you’re taller than me, live in NYC, don’t have a drug problem, are Jewish, and like kids” reasons, because he also has an endearing foreign accent. The accent also means that his English in general isn’t as perfect as one might hope, so our text messages are a little confusing:

Him: Can I bring you some snakes?

Me: Snakes? No?! WTF are you thinking. I’m not that kind of girl. Keep your snake away from me.

Him: No, snakes like potato chips or candies or something?

Needless to say, I’m betting he won’t ever be reading this website and he has no idea about who I am or what I do for a living. That can only be a positive thing, right?

3. Speaking of Men… Steph keeps getting emails from a man who calls himself “Uncle Jim.” The man is apparently trying to find my personal contact info, but can’t, so he keeps emailing Steph. Here’s the latest: