If you are lucky enough to be in a long-term relationship, chances are eventually your boyfriend is going to realize that you fart. I know most girls pretend like they don’t, but at the end of the day we are all human.
There is definitely something to be said for keeping some mystique about yourself, but if you have ever shared a hotel with your man, chances are he knows what’s up, and is just being polite by never mentioning it. Come on, did you really think you could vacation in Mexico without at least one case of the shits? Most likely when this topic does come up, it won’t really be a big deal to him, but in case you aren’t ready to reveal yourself fully, here are five ways to hide a fart from your boyfriend.
The ease and sneak. This is risky, since your butthole is probably unpredictable. But if you have to fart and cannot get away, your best option is to try and sneak it out, little by little. You risk smelling up the joint, but the ease and sneak is a silent maneuver, which will win half the battle, upfront.
The cough drop. One way to cover up some of the louder varieties of fart is to try and make a loud noise at the same time, such as a cough. It is best to distract your boyfriend simultaneously, so you should probably drop whatever is in your hand on the floor, and ask him to pick it up. Then when he is turned away, let her rip.
Playing dumb. This technique works better when there are more than just the two of you in the room, but you can always just pretend like you don’t know where the smell is coming from. He will probably be too much of a gentleman to call you out. Or, if he has a sense of humor it will end up making a cute story to tell the kids.
Evacuate the dance floor. The easiest way to cover your flatulence is to leave the room. The only problem with this solution is that sometimes it isn’t convenient to dip out during a blowjob.
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