Rant of the Week: Penis Sizing up the competition by Ethnicity

Written by Gary

I don’t really consider myself to be a size queen (if you are reading this site I assume you have met a gay man in your travels at one point, and know that a size queen refers to someone who only likes well endowed men) but in the 27 ‘cough’ years that I have been alive I have seen a decent amount of dicks. Big, medium sized, small, and and oddly shaped dicks of varying ethnicities have thrown themselves at me from all angles, and I have probably said yes more times than not. Every dick is attached to a person, however, and that person has an ethnicity. So here is the breakdown:

Italian/Jewish dicks: Require a toothpick and some rinsing water. In my experience both Italian and Jewish guys are pretty well endowed but they both trend to the hairy side. Honestly, after a saucy summer night with an Italian guy once I coughed up a hairball the size of Rhode Island. I think perhaps God was drunk when he invented the chosen people, as the older they get the more the hair migrates from their heads to their backs.

Eastern European dicks: Honestly my favorite right now (Probably because the guy I am seeing is European and huge). Generally however, penis size in Europe varies greatly. They may not always be the biggest and with their lack of color they may resemble a hairless cat, but the great thing about European guysΒ  is that they have the panty dropping accent, but you can still understand them when they say “You’re leaving after we are done, right mate?”

Puerto Rican dicks: I tend to stay away from them. A Puerto Ridcan dick is an angry dick, even though they are generally pretty large. Puerto Rican dicks are normally attached to hairless brown gentlemen, and honestly if I wanted that I would just screw myself. I’m brown. And hairless. Not to mention, Latinos are generally very passionate people, meaning that if you can even get through a blowjob without them getting angry or jealous you should count yourself lucky. But Jesus, they’re so hot and spicy (again, like me).

The moral of the story here is that every single tiny dick I have ever seen has belonged to a white American male. I don’t know what it is about the US, but I am starting to think that we didn’t migrate here to escape England. I think perhaps England was trying to rid itself of all the tiny dicks. Luckily, America is a melting pot, and through the mixing of cultures and ethnicities we have almost entirely bred all the tiny penises away.

Stem cell research anyone?

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About the author


Gary is the gay guy that every girl wants to be, and every guy wants to be with (Mostly because he can't get pregnant). He is based in Manhattan, but loves traveling to exotic new people, and sleeping with interesting new places. He is an adventurous writer, digital artist, and game designer that will try almost anything if it makes a good story.
--Instagram: @garyadrianrandall --Twitter: @gadrianrandall


    • To tell you the truth, ethnicity does have some impact on penis size. Italian, Latin, African men tend to have the biggest, followed by other Europeans, who have medium ones, followed by angry, tiny-dicked Asians such as yourself. Trust me, one day I felt insecure, did a search on each country’s average, and found the results. I don’t know why I felt insecure. My penis is 7.5 inches, but that’s not the point. Also, I’m not saying that there cant be African men with Asian dicks or vice versa, I’m just saying that those people would be outliers.

      • You know how I know you’re insecure? Because you have to big up your ethnic origins and put down others so you can (for once) feel big about yourself. I’m sorry but your dick is merely average. As an Asian (myself) with a dick the same size as yours, we’re all average buddy. With my average dick, it never matters who I’ve fucked. Every girl I’m with has their eyeballs in the back of their head once I ram ’em hard.

        You’re just a mad pathetic cucky white boy whose wife is now lusting after real meat. Enjoy fiddling with your tiny shrimp dick tonight once your woman gets seeded by a real man!

      • Yeah people need to stop trying to say there are no differences. There is clearly a difference in penis size between the Irish and Italians. Ive been with both what they say about the irish curse is 100% truth. Stereotypes usually form from a bit of truth. People pretending there are no differences are just insecure and bluepilled on the subject. Anyway the stereotypes about Italians are true just see

      • No they do not according to non self reported studies

        Italians 4.9
        Greeks 4.8
        Germans 5.8
        French 5.6

        People just associate Italians with big dicks because they’re dark, and people have this stupid belief that darker = bigger dick. Every study that has Italy over 4.9 inches is self reported.

        • Yep but that’s not the only reason they’re stereotyped like that. They’re stereotyped like that because like black people and latinos it is actually Italians who are promoting the fact that they have big wangs xD All the super narcissistic groups talk about how large their members are. These are also the countries who lie the most in surveys. Italians and French are both a very narcissistic people. Both self reported their averages as over 6 inches. Yet in the measures studies Italians came out smaller than even Indians and other Asians at 4.9 inches while the French came out at 5.3 smaller than every Northern European nation. So far the only existing measured study for Africa is Nigeria and they’re also 5.3 inches. Meanwhile Germany and Britain have averages of 5.7 and 5.6 respectively and the survey done on Britain wasn’t even erect it was stretched flaccid length. So imagine how large the statistic would be if it were erect.

          Italians aren’t big, they might like to brag that they are but no. They’re around the same sizes as Arabs. Probably because they are in part arabs. Others who claim they’re big do it just to spite Northern Europeans. It seems that everyone has severe racial complexes over Northern Europeans. I guess because they look good, everyone always tries to emasculate them or be better at them at something. However Northern Europeans are too humble to fight back. As you can see in the penis size surveys Brits and Germans were actually one of the few people to actually respond accurately self reported as their measured was. Everyone else like Latinos, French, Italians are so full of themselves they overestimated their sizes.

          • Um… coming from a female, this is absolutely false. I don’t even like to put people into “groups” but white men ALWAYS brag and I am very disappointed upon the removal of the pants. I’ve never had a black man or any other large-membered man brag. I’m always just wowed. I havent been with EVERY nationality, as I am now married, but there is no joke about black penises. Yes, there are biggins everywhere, and there a some small black penises. But it cannot be denied that if you picked 100 black men and 100 white men, the black men will have far more large members in there. WITH ALL THAT SAID- there can be a huge penis man of any color who does not know the first thing about pleasing a woman, in which case we’d pick an average guy who can get the job done any day.

          • Hello fake female. You guys really think we don’t know you’re black males posing as women? Why is it always Black and Asian men pulling shit like this on the internet. Do you require validation so much? Females don’t argue in the fashion that you do. The fact that you’re so dedicated to keeping the stereotype going reveals that you’re actually a male yourself. Women, no matter the color don’t give that much of a shit to actually argue about it like you do ha.

          • It’s so cute that you think we can’t tell you’re actually a guy lol. You argue just like one. Females never argue like this. Nice try though.

          • No no no, you put 100 black guys next to 100 white guys you know what you will see? Average sized penises on both sides lol. We have the internet now sir. Have you seen the various nudist tribes of Africa? They all have average sized dicks no bigger than Asians or whites. We have also had several sex education shows from the UK that have displayed numerous black and white guys and the black guys are always no bigger than the whites. Just like MOST black actors who have gone full frontal ARE average sized as well. Those insane bbcs only exist in pornography. They hare HAND selected by the producers specifically for being large, it’s a niche, and it’s how they make money off that niche. Every SINGLE black guy in entertainment outside of pornography who has gone nude, even the blackest of the black like Wesley Snipes, 50 cent, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje have either had tiny or average peckers. Yet and still dudes like you stay trying to keep the myth going despite the evidence to the contrary lol

          • Black and Arab people make up around 1 to 2% of the French population. Do you truly believe 2% of a population affects the average? gtfo out of here. Besides Arab countries typically have small averages according to studies. France does not have a large black and arab population, large would be implying they’re around 50% of the population or atleast 30% but the fact of the matter is they aren’t even a quarter of that. By the way I must apologize for my previous comment about the measured statistics. Turns out the study on Greece on included like 15 men which isn’t a large enough pool and the study of Italians being 4.9 was not only done on boys who haven’t finished puberty yet but it was stretched length not erect length. So oopsie.

        • @disqus_84ax7eBlkq:disqus Um no people associate Italians with big dicks because of experience like the very guy in this post stated lol. Are you really trying to argue it? Here in the UK almost every girl I talk to says Italians are well endowed.So it’s NOT Italians saying it, if it was just Italians saying it the stereotype wouldn’t be so overblown and I’ve never heard actual Italians mentioning such a stereotype. Black girls who are not even into white men say that the Italians are big. Gay men attest to it as well.

          Maybe people are aware of it because Italy is one of the top destinations in the world for female sex tourism especially from northern european women. If they were actually small I doubt they would have such a title. Penis size has nothing to do with race but it’s largely correlated with testosterone in the womb and during puberty in youth. It is a fact that southern europeans have higher counts of testosterone than northern europeans which contributes to the length and girth of a penis until puberty ends. So logically their penises would infact be bigger just like how Blacks are big.

  • I’am a white american girl , and i love i love italian dicks , espiciality big dicks of the sardians guys . I have a gangbang whith six sardinians guys and is beatiful ! Once you go italians and sardies dicks you’l never go back .
    Sardies are the most big dicks in the world !

    I wanna suck more sardinian dicks !

    • LOL ^ see this is exactly what i’m talking about. Italians are so insecure and full of themselves they pose as females online just to talk about how big their dicks supposedly are. Look at the Italian penis definition on Urban Dictionary…..full of insecure Italians. Let me guess you are Sardinian right? no girl would be that specific about an Italian xD

  • Omg I don’t understand why people always associate Italians solely with being hairy. They are no hairier than other Caucasians. Its just the metrosexuals in countries like Sweden shave almost all their hair off like women. But yes its true Italians do typical have big cocks just see here.

    They also know how to fuck

  • Ha the funny thing about your comment about Jews going bald (which is a caucasian problem in general) is that you mention East Europeans as your favorite, the poorest group in Europe who are prone to going bald as early as in their early 20s. Most Russians especially are balding while Itallians or Germans of the same age still have a head full of hair. This is something known about slavics throughout western europe.

  • Okay I feel like this is entirely wrong in so many ways. I have never come across an Italian with a big dick. The last Italian dick I saw was 3 in. and then as far as Puerto Ricans go, LMFAO. I have never seen a Puerto Rican with an average size dick in my life. Puerto Ricans always have short Dick’s that have no girth. My girls and I call them Puerto RiCANTS. SO IT’S NOT JUST ME RUNNING INTO BELOW AVERAGE SMALL DICK PUERTO RICANS. Black men on the other hands are just as likely to have a big dick as a white man is in my personal experience. I have seen some white man with huge cocks, and most of them are Eastern European. All Polish and Slavic men seem to be packing. Spaniards have nice cocks too. I’ve never seen a Dominican or a Cuban man who wasn’t well above average and I’m speaking of white Cuban men too, with pure, if not close to pure Spaniard bloodlines. Central Americans and Puerto Ricans I think have the smallest cocks. I never been with an Asian man but I assume they are probably the smallest out of all ethnicities just because they are smaller people in general. Don’t doubt these white boys though, there are a lot of big dick white boys of many ethnic backgrounds all around Europe. I’m still waiting to meet an Italian Stallion. I feel like I just have bad luck with Italians. I basically never want to give a Puerto Rican the time of day again in my life because I’ve never seen one that was bigger than 4 in and the 2 micropenises I was unfortunate enough to see belonged to a Puerto Rican man and a Mexican. I’m just going to stick with my well endowed white boys and Latinos. By the way I’m a female. I’m not a slut but I have had my slutty moments in the past, and I get a lot of dick pics sent to me. I’m also not looking for a 10 inch cock. I’d be extremely happy with anywhere between 6 and 8 in, and thick. I have two gay best guy friends though and they tell me about all of their sexscapades as well. I basically talk about sex with all of my friends so the info I’m giving you is not just from my personal experience but from my friends and what they tell me too.

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